Shooting survivor and others take a stand on bullying

Bristol shooting survivor and police officer talk of bullying’s impact on young lives

By Kristen Ray
Posted 2/22/19

It was one thing for Tiffany Quiterio to hear that 50 teachers at Kickemuit Middle School had staged a sick-out last month . To read the spiteful, angry comments flooding through social media …

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Shooting survivor and others take a stand on bullying

Bristol shooting survivor and police officer talk of bullying’s impact on young lives

Posted

It was one thing for Tiffany Quiterio to hear that 50 teachers at Kickemuit Middle School had staged a sick-out last month. To read the spiteful, angry comments flooding through social media afterwards was another. Despite no longer having kids in the system, she knew something needed to be done.

Taking money out of her rent check, she booked Andreozzi Hall this past Wednesday, Feb. 13, and invited former Portsmouth police and school resource officer Scott Sullivan, and Bristol school shooting survivor Steven Bernard, to come out and speak. It was a modest crowd, including several parents and Bristol Warren Regional School Committee Secretary John Saviano, but Ms. Quiterio hoped it could at least get the ball rolling toward a resolution at her children’s former school.

In a conversation that lasted well into the evening, ideas were shared, tears were shed. As parent Michael Sumner put it, "this will never, ever leave my mind.”

A living example

Back during the winter of 1988, a 15-year-old Mr. Bernard felt he was on top of the world. As a football and baseball player at Bristol High School, he and his friends were at the top of the social food chain. In those days, there was no such thing as the term “bullying”; instead, he and his crew would “tease” or “pick on” the kids they felt did not fit in, while nobody said a thing.

“It would all get pushed under the rug because Friday’s football game was way more important than any of that stuff,” Mr. Bernard said.

Yet in a world he said is divided into choices and consequences, Mr. Bernard’s actions nearly spawned fatal results when, on the afternoon of Feb. 25, his classmate and regular target, Vincent “Vinny” Isabelle, shot him in the head with a .22 caliber gun. The shooting occurred at Bristol High School.

“Big, bad Steve was big, bad Steve, until then,” Mr. Bernard said.

Almost 31 years later, he still carries around the weight from that day: Partial paralysis on the left side of his body, and crippling depression. The bullet still remains in his skull. Yet Mr. Bernard knows he survived that day in order to serve a greater purpose.    

“I’m here for that reason — just to say that one thing — that maybe will get through to you to change,” he said.

Spreading the message

Though it has been several years since he has spoken publicly about the incident, Mr. Bernard has shared his story more than 200 times throughout a 20-year span, all the while collecting information about bullying along the way. From the dependence on cell phones to the viewing of violent television programs, the tendency to either remain silent or encourage revenge — to Mr. Bernard, it all connects and leads to one instance of bullying after another.

“We have a society problem, not a teacher problem. We have a culture problem, not a parent problem,” he said.

While he has been busy putting his experience down on paper for a book set to be released within the next few years, in light of what has been happening at Kickemuit — where his daughter is currently an eighth-grade student — Mr. Bernard knew it was time to get back out there. Whether he comes in during the school day or hosts “dinner conversations” around town in the evening, Mr. Bernard is willing to help in whatever capacity he can. 

“People look at me as a hero; that’s a bunch of crap. I’m not a hero, I’m an example — there’s a big difference.”

A proposed solution

Even though “Officer Sully” has since retired from his position at Portsmouth, Mr. Sullivan, to this day, still gets contacted from his former students regarding instances of bullying. For the last two and a half years, he has dedicated his life to becoming an expert on the subject and is eager to share that information with his neighbors in the East Bay. His knows his approach may not have all the answers, but Mr. Sullivan feels it could at least serve as a starting-off point toward a longer-term solution.

In order to know where to start, though, Mr. Sullivan believes it is crucial to understand what bullying even is and the amount of damage it can do:

  • The bully vs. the target:  To Mr. Sullivan, the definition of bullying boils down to this: “An unwanted behavior from an imbalance of power.” It varies from town to town, but bullies will go after who the different kid just so happens to be in their own respective community. Children with disabilities or identifying with LGBTQ, however, are even more at risk for being targeted.
  • Common traits: Though the children identifying as bullies will differ from school to school, they all tend to share some similarities, such as low parental involvement, an inability to take responsibility, a disregard for the rules and an overexposure to violence. Some might be friends with bullies or were once targets themselves. 
  • The effects: Depression, anxiety, self-harm, withdrawal, drug and alcohol abuse — Mr. Sullivan believes the impacts bullying has on the 10 million kids effected each year can contribute to it all. Though it does happen, he said “the overwhelming vast majority are not going to commit suicide” and discouraged the use of the term “bullycide.”

Advice for all

With that in mind, Mr. Sullivan then offered suggestions that the middle school could build from:

  • A strict, well-defined policy:  The way that Kickemuit’s policy is currently written, the worst offense a child can commit is filing a false report. “You want to talk about shaming a witness to not come forward?” Mr. Sullivan said. He advocated for an update that would lead to clear, well-adhered-to rules with consequences that are the same for every child across the board.
  • Documentation, and the delegation of power:  Just like every grade level has a designated guidance counselor (maybe more accurately referred to as “academic advisors,” Mr. Sullivan said), the same should be the case for social workers and school psychologists. Either they, or whom Mr. Sullivan refers to as “bullying liaisons” (“an administrative assistant with a few extra skills”), could handle those cases and ensure every instance was properly documented. At times when bullying escalates to a being criminal act, they should then notify the police for their own records. “From a liability standpoint, this protects the school,” Mr. Sullivan said.
  • Teaching behaviors: “For some reason for the kids who come to that school, it’s the great wild west and we can do whatever we want because there is no punishment whatsoever,” said Mr. Sullivan. That could change, if both students and teachers were provided the proper tools. From teaching self-empowerment to curbing impulse-thinking, both parties could learn how to diffuse a bullying situation before it even begins to get out of hand.

While both men had plenty to say about the topic of bullying, they both agreed that without a full community approach, their words could only go so far. Mr. Sullivan can be reached at bullyhelpnow@yahoo.com or on his Facebook page, Sully on Bullying. Mr. Bernard can be reached at linebacker4u56@gmail.com.

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A lifelong Portsmouth resident, Jim graduated from Portsmouth High School in 1982 and earned a journalism degree from the University of Rhode Island in 1986. He's worked two different stints at East Bay Newspapers, for a total of 18 years with the company so far. When not running all over town bringing you the news from Portsmouth, Jim listens to lots and lots and lots of music, watches obscure silent films from the '20s and usually has three books going at once. He also loves to cook crazy New Orleans dishes for his wife of 25 years, Michelle, and their two sons, Jake and Max.