Letter: Welcome home, Mr. and Mrs. Osprey!

Posted 5/5/21

Their flock of babies had finally flew the nest, with the exception of one recalcitrant sibling who was rudely tossed out by Dad. So, Mr. and Mrs. Osprey flew out to their winter home south of the …

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Letter: Welcome home, Mr. and Mrs. Osprey!

Posted

Their flock of babies had finally flew the nest, with the exception of one recalcitrant sibling who was rudely tossed out by Dad. So, Mr. and Mrs. Osprey flew out to their winter home south of the border ( Mexico not Connecticut ) to enjoy some peace and relaxation in quarantine.

Winter wound down, and having spent the IRS-mandated six months and a day out of State, they flew back to bucolic Colt State Park. As they approached their humble home, a startling apparition appeared. Some hooligan had placed a huge orange and white cone in the middle of the master bedroom. Mr. Osprey knew that some State officials frowned on “those snow birds,” but this was beyond the pale.

He sought out Mr. Seagull, a year round resident, who was performing aerial bombing runs on Poppasquash Road, having just nailed a new Land Rover with Jersey plates with an oyster.

After Mr. Seagull’s chortling subsided — he loved bombing those out of state interlopers who pay high real estate taxes, support local businesses and have no kids in the school system — he informed Mr Osprey that henchmen from the Department of Environmental Management (DEM) had done the dirty deed.

But, he said that DEM in their wisdom had found him a new home farther down the road. Not on a nice roof mind you, but a pole left over from the Eisenhower administration and borrowed from Narragansett Electric.

Mr Osprey flapped his mighty raptor wings and said, “ $&#@@#$&& them!”

Returning home to his destroyed manse he told his bride for life, “Love, you’re going to get that second bedroom you’ve always wanted in case the grand kids come to visit.”

So he built it, she settled in and life returned to the new normalcy as the Ospreys gave DEM the bird!

Kim and Howard G. Sutton
Bristol

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